I have found the drawback to living in paradise. It’s called a White Christmas back home in Europe.

The other day I got a call from my family who were snowed in at the English Countryside homestead; fire crackling, roast in the oven, labradors [and little nephew] barking, antiques roadshow no doubt on in the background. To add insult to absence, they were making the christmas cake [probably while having a group hug]. I don’t even like christmas cake [or pudding for that matter – I mean, if it wasn’t washed in alcohol and turned into a saccharine firework would people actually eat it? Any pudding that you have to physically lace with cold hard cash in an attempt to get people to eat it is going to be pretty horrendous n’est-ce pas? And we wonder why the French ‘take the pudding’ out of us…]

The appalling taste of said dessert is beside the point. It is a tradition and a family thing. And my family is quite a long way away [and can make snow angels whenever they so desire]. Grrr.

 

After languishing on the unsnowy situation for the rest of the day, the next morning I decided to wake up and smell the roses. Or rather the frangipani.

 

I am in Bali. That’s pretty cool. I am happy and healthy and have some roops in my pocket. I also have an awesome family over [quite a few] seas. And so with humble pie in my mouth I decided I would go all Mother T and start a little Christmas collection… for those Balinese children who don’t have a family over any shores. I reckon they deserve some pretty damn good presents on Christmas morning.

                     

As everyone knows, Christmas presents need a tree to collect under – so I scooped up all of the old job application envelopes that were scribbled on and couldn’t be used again and made this 2D ‘evergreen’. Waste not want not as granny harris used to say.

 

Everyone also knows that Christmas presents need a trunk to collect in – so my fave florist [Janice at Bloomz] let me borrow something red. Julie Andrews knows that ‘brown paper packages tied up with string’ is one ‘of my favourite things’ so obviously the wrapping had to be…

Right, we have something old and something borrowed … the only ‘new’ thing I needed happened to also be blue – I needed blu-tac to stick the christmas ‘tree’ to the wall. And so off I went to the supermarket to buy it. And wow was that an experience. I would recommend learning the indo word for ‘blu-tac’ because seriously, ‘blu-tac’ is the hardest mime you can ever attempt. After at least 13 minutes of enthusiastically sticking an invisible poster to an invisible wall, and frenetically pulling bits of invisible blu tac apart [to show the rubbery consistency of course] Wayan still looked at me with an expression of confusion [and pity I suspect].

I eventually found the blu tac, and Wayan learnt about an innovative adhesive alternative. I learnt the indo for blu-tac = blu-tac. Yep, they have no word for it, and no idea what it is. Hey, at least the whole sticky situation gave my charade skills a pre-christmas workout. [Who’s excited for charaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaades!]

…If you are coming to Bali and would like to add to the trunk, we are collecting cash donations, toys and books [If anyone brings ‘The Jolly Postman’ I will personally give you the biggest bear hug – that book rules].